UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD'S NARCISSISM

Have you seen your child eating all the chocolates you buy, not thinking that his siblings might also like those chocolates?  Or they are angry because you can't afford an expensive toy he wants to buy.  Does he care about other's feeling?

Let us know first the meaning of narcissism.  "Narcissism is a personality trait of egotism, vanity, self-love or just a simple selfishness. It is derived from Narcissus, son of Cephisus, the Greek river god, who was blessed with extremely good looks, so handsome that a many girls fell in love with him and vied for his attention. However, he was so involved with himself that he didn't pay attention to the maidens.  He was punished by the gods for treating nymph Echo badly, command Narcissus to go down to a clear pool, looked into the reflective waters and saw his own face and instantly fell in love with his reflection.  He couldn't bear to leave the reflection and stayed at the pool until he died.

Narcissism is part of children's basic survival gear. When they are little, they see everything and everyone as extensions of themselves.  It is the first step toward building their sense of self, their ego.  Children's narcissism begins with a bonding with their mother.  At the age of two, they do not differentiate between mother and themselves.  When the mother responds to all their cueing and learns baby's personalities and needs the child feels safe and loved. This is natural narcissism, where the child develops a sense of self and it is necessary if the child is to develop a healthy and secure identity. Loving parents always protect their child, trying to guard them from pain, but sometimes they forget that pain is a normal part of living. Don't deprive your children from normal pain and life experience.  If loving parents continue to protect their children from normal pain throughout their development they may become emotionally handicapped.   As the child explores the real world he begins to realize that other people exist, can think and feel too.  Taking care of pets, like dog or bird helps the child to overcome narcissism.  They become less self-centered and will help him to be responsible for others welfare.   Letting him to do planning and decision making based on experience, giving him the duties of caring for his younger siblings develops him to act as a mature one and would lead him to realize the reality that the world doesn't revolve around him.  It is important to understand that narcissism is a natural part of children's normal and healthy development, but could lead to a serious illness if not deal properly. Without his parents love and affection, the child can become insecure, feel less love,  demands constant attention and sometimes become rebellious. Understanding your child's narcissism  and accepting that child is naturally selfish could lead you to act effectively towards his behavior.